Believe it or not, I still exist!!

..Just not on the internet as much as is the norm these days.

Thank you for continuing to read my blog in this age of twitter, tumblr, instagram, facebook... etc. I am still here with just this page and my modelmayhem page. If you like me, or hate me but like my work, or think I look weird, or think I write weird stuff, please tell your friends.

Someone a few weeks ago read my blog and told me that since I had not updated since I wrote about Matthew Grogan, that I was "letting him win." I noted that and planned to update much sooner than I am doing now. It's so much easier to find importance and a good story in negative things than in positive things for some people. I am one of those people.

But let's rewind a little to a lovely shoot I did not post about in a timely manner. It was with Tim and was supposed to be a TFP shoot, but he ended up hiring me for additional time after we'd finished shooting what we'd planned for TFP. He was an utter joy to work with and I am so thankful. The day started with a storm and BART train failure and me being hella late and him not being able to find a spot to park by the station I had to exit at and ended with a sense of fulfillment and a new connection. [We are going to work together again in a few weekends.]

Another thing that came out of this shoot was a complete surprise to me.

Tim was renting studio space in a warehouse in which regular group shoots called "Glamour Bash"es happen. I had gone to one of them... gosh, probably almost three years ago. It had been okay, but weirdo art alternative model that I am, with a non-traditionally beautiful body and strange ink blots and doodles to adorn it, I felt pretty out of place there. I don't usually do glamour, you know. Or if I do it is definitely weirdly slanted. So, I had an alright time at the bash and I liked everyone, but I felt like it wasn't for me. Alan, who runs them, never really contacted me again afterwards and I felt pretty insecure.

Then, when I was walking through the glamour bash, following Tim to the studio we were to shoot in, Alan yelled "Wynd! Why have you been ignoring me for so long?" [He didn't really mean it. He's a goofball.] It took me by surprise. I look way different than I did the last time we saw each other, so I wasn't expecting him to recognize me, and also I didn't know he'd wanted me to contact him! [Which, actually, is how it works. Models contact him to get slots in the shoots.] Some of the photographers who attend the events regularly recognized me, too. The fact that I was that memorable and that Alan wanted me to come back was a huge self-esteem boost for me.

I went to my second glamour bash last weekend, now in a different studio, and I hope to go again soon. More on that later.

Here are some images from my shoot that day with Tim!